An open letter to the 99%'ers.

You people who claim to be the 99% (and their supporters), here are a few things to think of:
You do not support me. Our household income is right at 50k. We are not rich. Yet, we do not want rich people's money.
You protest because someone else has more money than you, yet you do not do what they do, you have not lived their lives, you do not know what has to be done to get that money.
You block the streets, then fight against the police when they try to clear those streets. Then you get mad when the police fight back.
In America, there are laws regulating how you can protest, but those laws do NOT prevent the protest. If you stay within those laws, you can protest you little heads off. Look at the people from Westboro Baptist Church. They do not get arrested. They do things within the confines of the law. By the way, they don't represent this Christian or his beliefs any more than you do. I don't like you, but I despise them.
Look at all the MLK marches every year. They don't get arrested even though they are using the streets. That's because they do it right.
You want to bitch and complain that some people have more money than you? Fine. Go right ahead. Gather peacefully and lawfully and have fun.
You want to bitch and complain that those people aren't sharing their money with you? Too bad.
When you have the $120k school debt of a doctor or lawyer, you can charge the same prices they do and drive the nice cars. When you have multiple millions in debt setting up an extensive doctor's office, you can charge the same prices they do and live in the gated, patrolled neighborhoods. When you pay tens of thousand of dollars for insurance, like doctors and business owners, you can charge the same prices they do. And be in crushing debt like so many of them are.
Businesses are not evil because they make money. When you have to pay tens of thousands of dollars a month to lease the space for a grocery store, pay the liability insurance to cover people who fall (and those who only pretend to), when you have to pay the distributers to get the foods into the store, when you have to pay upwards of a million dollars (maybe more) just to get the store ready to open, when you have to pay for the employees, when you have to pay the taxes, when you have $50k in merchandise a MONTH stolen from your store (like one of the WalMart stores in the San Antonio area), THEN you, too, can have the money.
As for me, I get up, I go to work, I work, I go home. Every two weeks, they give me money.
I am blessed to have the job I have, the house I have (which I PAY for every month!), the 2 vehicles, the toys (like this computer), the life I have.
But I have this life because 1) God has blessed me, and 2) I work for it.
When my Dad died, all he had was $17k for each of the 4 kids. I don't know what the sibs did with it, but my wife and I saved it until we could find this house. Trust me, the house cost more than $17 thousand.
So, you 99%ers, go home, go to work, save, budget, live within your means, and stop worrying about what other people have.
And stop bitching when you get punished for breaking the law.

My favorite scene in my audio adaptation of "Who Goes There"


FX-banging on a table

177 Garry
Calm down, everybody, calm down!

(voices quiet down)

178 Garry
Thank you. Macready, you've told us about the ship and this...thing...
that you found out there. I gotta tell you guys, I'm at a loss here. They
don't train us on what to do with a man from Mars.

179 Blair
Well, that should be obvious. I'll thaw it out and study it.

180 Connant
What? You can't be serious!

180 Blair
Of course I'm serious. We'll never get another...

181 Kinner
Listen, I don't care what you do with it, just don't do it in my dining
room on my tables.

182 Clark
We can't thaw that thing out! There's no telling what we'd catch from

183 Blair
Don't be...

184 Clark
What? Don't be dim? Let me tell you something, you no-necked

185 Blair
Pipsqueak? Now, just a...

186 Macready
Blair, let the man talk. You've done your
share. Now, what are you talking about, Clark?

187 Clark
Germs. Disease. You thaw that thing out, we could catch anything.

188 Blair
I'm telling you...

189 Garry

190 Copper
No, let him respond. I think I know where he's going.

191 Garry
Oh, I give up. What?

192 Blair
I'm talking about comparative biochemistry. I'm talking about the fact
that this thing did not evolve here on Earth, so there is no way that
it can be carrying any micro-organism that could be dangerous to
humans. Add to the fact that it lay buried in minus 40 degree weather
for six days, and nothing could have survived.

193 Norris
Oh, that's bunk and you know it Blair. Plenty of organisms freeze
and return to life when thawed.

194 Copper
But those are not higher order, complex organisms. An animal, one of
Clark's dogs for instance, would not thaw alive. Neither would a man,
or something advanced enough to build a spaceship. That kind of
structured organism needs all of it's major parts to operate. This thing
is dead.

195 Clark
That thing may be dead, but what about all the not-so-complex
lifeforms it carries? It could have some blood borne...pathogen...for
all we know. Something that killed the pilot and made the ship crash.
The point is we don’t know!

196 Garry
Hold on, hold on. Let's just take a vote, why don't we?

197 Blair
But, you said that I would be in charge if we found anything in my
field. I think this qualifies.

198 Macready

199 Blair
No, Mac, really. You were there. And now he wants us to vote? This
is one of, no, the most significant, most important, most exciting
discovery in the history of man. I mean, forget airplanes and
nuclear bombs, we have proof, inarguable proof, of life from
somewhere else. And he wants to vote on destroying it?

200 Garry
Who said anything about destroying it? I’m talking about voting on
whether we thaw it here, or take it to Black Island and let them do it.

201 Blair
Those morons at Black Island would either lose it or just turn it over
to the military. Either way, we lose a chance to make history!

202 Garry
Listen, not only do we have a space alien, we have a dead space
alien! There's nothing in my training about this. We vote. If the vote
goes your way, then you can be in charge.

203 Childs
So, we just write down our vote and put it in a hat?

204 Garry
No. No secret ballots on this. You want to thaw it, go stand next to it.
You don't, go stand by the door.

205 Blair
That's easy enough. I'll be the first.


206 Connant
Not me.


207 Norris
I...I've got to go with Connant on this one, Blair.

208 Clark
Me, too.

209 Copper
I have to agree with Blair. This is not something we should pass on,

210 Van Wall
Come on, guys! A real honest to goodness Martian! Who wouldn't
want do this?

211 Kinner
I don't care what we do with it, as long as it isn't in here..

212 Blair
I promise, I won't do anything here. I have to set up a lab.

213 Kinner
Fine. As long as you take it away, I'll let you play with it.


214 Connant
Kinner! You can't be serious!

215 Macready
Connant. It’s his choice.

216 Childs
Mac, you should never have dug that thing up. Shoulda burned
it where you found it. I'm staying right here by the door.

217 Macready
You may well be right, Childs, but we are here for scientific study.


218 Connant
Oh, Mac, not you, too! Garry, you have to see that this thing is
dangerous. At least make it a tie so we can flip a coin or something.

219 Garry
I'm sorry. But this could mean tremendous things for all of us. I…I
have to go with them.

220 Blair
At least some of us have some common sense.

221 Macready
Shut up, Blair. That ice should have cleared by now. Pull the
tarp off and let's see the newest member of our team.

223 Blair
It's about time. We haven't been able to see it clearly since we found
it. Copper, get that end.

FX-cloth rustling and dropping to the floor

FX-running, then someone throwing up

224 Copper
Oh, my...

225 Blair

FX- walking up

226 Connant
What was that, Blair? Did I just hear you say oh my sweet Jesus!

FX-stumbling back, a chair falls over

227 Van Wall
Are those...are those worms?

228 Clark
This is a joke, right? You four cooked this up out there just to get a
laugh? Right?

229 Copper it too late to change my vote?

230 Kinner
I hope Garry left me some room in that trash can.

231 Childs
I told you, Mac.

232 Macready
Yeah, I'm beginning to agree with you.

234 Blair
Well, nobody ever said that biology would be pretty. So, Connant old
boy, what do you think of God's handiwork?

235 Connant
Uh-uh, evolution can have this one. My God never created

236 Clark
So, let me get this straight. You want to thaw this out and
study it.

237 Blair
Of course.

238 Clark
And you have to cut it up to do that.

239 Blair
Yes, of course. Eventually, a full dissection will be necessary.

240 Norris
I think I'm with Clark. Cutting this thing into pieces would be a good

241 Copper
Blair, if you don't, I damn sure will.

Final Cast LIst

Thanks to all the wonderful auditions I received. It's difficult choosing.

I have the final cast list for "Who Goes There?"

We have:
Jake Bible as Van Wall
Andy Kjar as Kinner
Mat Weller as Childs
Rish Outfield as Connant
Peter Katt as Copper
Hazen Nester as Norris
Rick Stringer as Garry
Seth Adam Sher as Clark
Ryan H. Nelson as Blair
Joel Nisbet as Macready
Michael Liebmann as Mr. Hawks (The Voice on the Radio)
Don Pitsiladis as the Announcer

It's gonna be fun!

Open casting call for 10 male voices

This is my first casting call, so I hope I don't botch it.

I am writing an audio adaptation of John W. Campbell's "Who Goes There", the basis for the 1951 movie "The Thing From Another World" and the 1982 movie "The Thing".

There are 11 characters, all male. Sorry, ladies, but the original was written that way.

One of the characters has already been cast, and he's a doozy! Jake Bible, author of the novel (and audio podcast) "Dead Mech" will be appearing as Van Wall.

Nine of the remaining characters appear through out the show, and the last one only has three lines.

Please, give me your best single take of each line for the character(s) you want to try out for. Send them as an mp3, one file per character, bitrate doesn't matter a whole lot, but it needs to sound clean.

All characters are American, so any American accent is alright.

There is some moderate language in the show, so be warned.

I don't expect anyone to have more than 1000 words, and most will have much less.

The script is about 2/3 complete, and I expect to be finished writing by the end of May, so lines won't be due for a while.

Email auditions to clay (dot) dugger (at) gmail (you know the rest). Due date is May 31.

COMMANDER GARRY, Administrative Supervisor. Speaks very clearly and distinctly, until he starts to fall apart. Very “by the book”, this man starts to fall apart when the alien is revealed. This isn’t covered in any training or manual, and the stress is too much for him. He goes from the strong leader to the indecisive figurehead relatively quickly.

Very formal. Talking to his staff:

“Protocol, mister. I know most of you guys don’t care about it, but I do. Now, we just registered a massive magnetic shift, and then a considerable seismic incident, all from the approximate area where you are supposed to be. I’m just checking to make sure you’re alright.”

Quite stressed:

“Listen, not only do we have a space alien, we have a dead space alien! There's nothing in my training about this. We vote. If the vote goes your way, then you can be in charge.”

Stressed and angry:

“I'm not happy, either, damn it! Remember who it was puking his guts up in there? I damn near wet my pants when I saw that thing! But I made a decision, and that's that. Now, deal with it.”

Unable to be firm:

“I...I...don't know. I’m just not sure.”

COMMANDER MACREADY, Second in Command, Pilot. He is very steady throughout the story. He is a no-nonsense guy. He says what he means and means what he says, in as few words as necessary. He has emotions, but doesn’t like to show them.


“Garry...we found a body.”

Mad. Very. For the yelling, please do yell. Turn your head away from your mic AND place your hand between your head and the mic. Yell, but try not to peak the meters:

“Just getting his attention, Doc. You try that again, I’ll knock you into the middle of next week. Now, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?”

A little scared, still mad:

“We don’t know what that thing is up to! Can you guarantee me, right now, that it’s peaceful? Just wondering around lost?”

Very stressed, trying to deal with the frightening unknown:

“I don’t know and I don’t intend to ask it. You two, grab the fire extinguishers. Doc, keep him back!”

CHILDS, Mechanic. New to the group, but has fit in well. Similar to Macready in temperament, but shorter in temper. He’s a great follower unless he doesn’t like the way you are leading.

Still new the the group, trying to impress:

“Yes, sir, Mr. Van Wall. Hope it's not always like this, though. I'll have to requisition a whole plane just to have the parts to keep this one in the air!”


“Macready, you should never have dug that thing up. Shoulda burned it where you found it. I'm staying right here by the door.”

Angry and afraid:

“No way in hell am I letting that thing anywhere near me. They bring that thing back, I'm leaving.”

Self explanatory line here:

“Watch your tone. I’m on edge, I’m pissed off, and I have a flamethrower.”

KINNER, Cook. Strongly religious, and very protective of his domain. Follows commands well. Starts to lose it as the tension grows. Few lines, but they are usually emotional.

Note: The role of Kinner involves singing! It doesn’t have to be good, but it is in there!


“I don't care how long it takes, I just don't want a dog on one of my tables. Especially one that's bleeding!”


“Fine. As long as you take it away, I'll let you play with it.”


“Nobody seems willing to say it, so I will. That thing scares the crap out of me! I swear those three red eyes were looking at me.”

Mad, excited:

“You stay down. I’ll put you through that wall if you try to get up.”

BLAIR, biologist. Disdainful. Insulting. Superior. Sees no danger until he sees ultimate danger. Slightly off, but goes completely insane later. He is a little man with a huge intellect and even larger ego.

A little condescending, but not argumentative:

“But you, you’re a geologist, a scientist! How can you believe in all that Bible mumbo jumbo?”

Logical, emotional, but in a happy, excited way:

Of course it doesn't fit to us! It's not from here! It's alien. By definition, it's different than anything we've experienced before. That's why we have to study it. Find out all we can about it. I just wish we could have found more of them.


“How dare you! I don’t know why they even brought you here. This is a research facility, not a...a shade-tree auto shop.”

This one is hard. He starts out normal, degrades into fear, then ends insane. Have fun:

“Now, let’s see what we have here...Oh, well that’s different...What the?...It’s copy...If it’s that fast...Oh, no…They all could be...It could take over...It makes sense...Garry..Mac…even Copper...Their all...Connant, of course, I should have seen...We all have to...everything must...”

NORRIS, Physicist. Indecisive, but a good man. Quiet and witty, he is steady, going along with whomever is in charge.

Just information here:

“Commander! There's been another reading! Smaller, like an explosion. Same direction and distance as the first one.”


“I hadn’t thought of that. You think…could there…be people inside that thing?”


“None for me. I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll wake up in the morning and find this is just a bad dream. I'm not feeling so hot anyway.”

Stressed, in a little pain:

“Yeah, I need to lay down, guys. I’m feeling a little under the weather. All this excitement is getting to me.”

CONNANT, Astronomer. Very strongly held beliefs. He is emotional and vocal. Very vocal.


“Yeah, I know. Flying saucers and men from Mars. That's crap and you know it.”

Mad, scared, and yes, I do expect the language:

“You listening? I admit it. What we have here, buried in the ice, is a god-da**ed spaceship!”

If you remember the 1982 movie, you’ve heard this line. Amazed and scared:

“It’s gone, Mac.”

Tired, scared, punched in the face, and very, very mad. All at once:

“I had to take a leak. On the way, I saw the door to Blair’s lab was open. The lights were off, but I wanted to check and make sure everything was okay. I turned on the lights, didn’t see anything, turned them off again. Then it hit me. I didn’t see anything! Nothing unusual. As in…no dead alien! I turned on the lights again, but it was still gone. The table was wet, covered in some slimy something, but no body! Blair’s little pet is roaming around somewhere.”

COPPER, Physician. Just wants reason. Has a desire to help people.


“Gentlemen! The longer you two argue, the longer this is going to take. Clark, start on that leg, I'll work on his ear. Kinner, go do whatever it is you do in there.”

Logical, debating. Trying to peacefully convince:

“But those are not higher order, complex organisms. An animal, one of Clark's dogs for instance, would not thaw alive. Neither would a man, or something advanced enough to build a spaceship. That kind of structured organism needs all of it's major parts to operate. This thing is dead.”

Again, just trying to make peace:

“No, he's just being a man. He's afraid of what he doesn't nderstand, and this thing is about as unknown as it gets.”


“Are you all right? Here, come back to my room, I’ll look you over. Blair? Come get me if you need any help. I’m no biologist, but I’ve attended my share of necropsies.”

CLARK, Veterinarian. A big man with a big voice. Opinionated and rushes to action. Quick to anger.


“Yeah, well, we wouldn't want to confuse anyone. Don't want them chewing on my huskies to get the taste out of their mouths.”

Concerned, trying to convince:

“That thing may be dead, but what all the not-so-complex lifeforms it carries? It could have some blood borne...pathogen...for all we know. Something that killed the pilot and made the ship crash. The point is that we don’t know!”


“It’s attacking the dogs!”

Afraid and sad:

“God, Mac, you can’t! The dogs...”

VOICE ON RADIO, Contact on Black Island.

This is the entire part for “The Voice”. The lines should be fairly self explanatory. Just a bureaucrat excited about getting funding:

“Well, Commander, I hope you find some big pieces. Good samples of meteorite rock could fund this expedition until the Navy gets Macmurdo Base built. Imagine finding something in one day that could pay for two more years!”

“And, if they are a part of a big discovery, they can write their own tickets.”

“I look forward to hearing your report day after tomorrow.”

Have fun. Remember, send it to my gmail at clay (dot) dugger. MP3, one file per character, gimme your best take.